I was at a point a few years ago where I felt totally out of touch with my true desires and pleasure. I didn’t feel like I had the time and I had lost touch with this part of myself.
Between work, being a mama, and all the responsibilities that held, I didn’t know how to connect with myself the way I used to be able to. And, this affected everything…my mood, my body, the choices I made, literally everything.
What happened to change it all? I learned specific practices and techniques to connect deeper to pleasure and to putting my self-care and self-love first. Gasp! First!! How selfish! Or maybe you’re thinking, “that’s great for you, but I can’t do that, there are too many people depending on me, too many things to do!”
If you are thinking either of those 2 things, then I challenge you to read on, because tapping in with pleasure and desire are EXACTLY what you need to manage all those hats, and keep all the balls in the air, with more ease and joy.
Now, my life is filled with tapping in with my body, my desires, my pleasure on a daily basis. And you know what, the world did not stop, the dinner still gets on the table, the kids are still taken care of. In fact, all of this is done with more ease, more attentiveness, more pleasure. Really. And sex? Well, let me just say it is a lot more juicy, spontaneous, and my desire is higher than ever.
The first step in getting in touch with desire and pleasure is to identify what your desires are and speaking them out loud, and writing them down.
When we desire to tap into pleasure or just to amplify our desire, we first have to identify what would give us pleasure and what help us tap into our desires.
Here’s an exercise for you:
Write down what’s in your way right now? What are the obstacles to you tapping in or receiving your desires?
What has kept you cycling in a pattern that isn’t serving you?
Is it lack of perceived time for yourself
Not asking for help
Taking on too many responsibilities
Distraction—using your precious energy to watch TV programs that help you zone out
Now take some deep breaths in and out slowly, and put your hands on your heart;
Ask yourself how you would FEEL, what are the sensations, if these things were not in your way?
Continue breathing until you can feel into your heart (use your “mind’s eye”) and see what your desires are—they are layered underneath all the “stuff”, the “shoulds,”, the “guilt”, and the barriers. Feel into the SENSATIONS that arise.
Continue your breathing as you tap in with these desires, and really feel them move in your body. Your breathing may change, your sensations may shift.
Imagine light streaming into your heart center, or whatever feels right to you.
Take a moment after this exercise to reflect on what came up.
Write these desires/images/wisdom down in the present using “I AM” For example: I AM….abundant in my life’s work. I AM…full of sexual desire for my partner. I AM so comfortable with my body.
At first these may feel false when you start to write them down. This is resistance. Go through it.
Then, be truly brave, and speak these desires outloud. YES!! OUT LOUD.
This is how you change what resides in your body.
Hit reply to this email and let me know if you did the exercise, what did you discover or if you got stuck with any part! I’d love to hear from you!
Why is it so difficult to relax into pleasure some times? What keeps our mind spinning and us unable to tune in with bodily sensations? Sometimes it flows and you find yourself so present in the moment and enjoying every sensation. Other times it feels like an invisible block.
This happens to all of us, some more frequently than others. I believe from my own experiences and that of hundreds of women I have talked with that the underlying root issue lies within pleasure.
The pleasure principle is that to have ease with pleasure, we have to invite pleasure in more frequently. She doesn’t want to be an uninvited guest, or feel like a third wheel.
In order to bring pleasure in, we may have to add her to our calendars. But, if you pencil her in, you betta show up! She doesn’t like to be dismissed.
But, why is it so hard to make time for her? This modern world is stripping something that is essential to the core of our well-being, our vitality, and happiness. Time for play, time to be in the moment, time to experience the pure awe of being alive.
I’ve made it my mission to learn how to dance with pleasure so intimately and teach others to do so. Why? Because it is fundamental to healing any physical or emotional blocks, illness, depression, anxiety, overwhelm, stress.
And, because it a journey that is constantly evolving for me. There was a time in my life I felt so mis-aligned with my path, so out of touch with my inner strength and power that I sought help from a therapist and used anti-depressants.
I now can look back on that time in my life and see I was missing my dates with pleasure. I am a driven woman—and it is easy for me to get so wrapped up in what I am striving for that I forget to breathe and enjoy.
As we are often called to teach what in essence the hardest lessons were for ourselves, we then become the mentors. We become the guides to show others along the path that we have so painstakingly had to find. We make it easier for those who would like to travel the path to do so with direction, ease, and a hand to hold.
I will be unfolding more about tapping into pleasure in the weeks to come. This is my life’s work. This is my calling.
This week, I’d like you to do an inventory of pleasure in your life. How often do you invite her in? In what forms does she show up for you? When does she slip in and you realize you are smiling, you feel at ease, and a lightness enters your body/mind/spirit. If you are feeling disconnected from her, then just start journaling about what lights you up. A good orgasm? A bath with candles? A great erotica book?
Remember, there is no agenda with pleasure. This is a deep dive into accomplishing nothing. It is in fact when we LET GO OF THE DOING that she arrives.
Would you like to dive deeper into your pleasure potential?? Check out my course that is starting soon…click here–>THE VITAL WOMAN PROGRAM
With much love,