How Tuning In with My Sexuality Has Made Me a Better Mother

How Tuning In with My Sexuality Has Made Me a Better Mother

Now, I’m not a big fan of the word “better”, but in reality we all have aspirations of where we’d like to be with something–and to us, that is “better” than where we are right now.

 

I’m always striving to be a more patient, understanding, peaceful and resilient mother.  Even though I do my best, and have compassion that it’s not an easy task to guide another human being, I do try to improve.  As I continuously learn to have compassion and love for myself, I can model this for my children and develop wickedly good “guide” skills.

 

So, the topic of sexuality and motherhood isn’t commonly strewn across popular magazines. I talk about it in my work as a women’s sexuality coach and previously as a Certified Nurse-Midwife, but in the mainstream, it’s pretty underground.

 

Often, we put things into priority lists as women, and especially as mothers.  Sometimes my post it notes can pile up into a post-it extravaganza with the things I have to remember–permission slips, girl scout meetings, football practices, and shopping list essentials.

 

Where does our sexuality go on the priority list?  Often to the gosh darn bottom!  Why?  Because we’re not seeing the value in it? Because we’re don’t think we deserve it?  Because it’s selfish to think self pleasure and sex is a priority?

 

I’d like to turn that on its head.  Right here. Right now.

 

We’ve separated our lives into “me doing my life” and “me being sexual.”  It’s a highly charged subject, but it doesn’t need to be.

 

How about if we call sexual energy LIFE FORCE ENERGY?

 

Would you say you could use a little more life force energy? More vitality? More energy period to feel like a functioning, no, let’s go there—a THRIVING human being?

 

If you’re like most women, you’re probably answering YES.  

 

I invite you to think on how your life might look differently if you had more of this life force energy pulsing through you on a daily basis.

 

Could you get more of your to-do list done?

Could you rock your work?

Could you be more patient, more understanding, and have the space to really be there for yourself, your partner, your kids?

I’m not promising it’s going to look peachy every minute of every day. Let’s be real right?  It’s like a constant ebb and flow of emotions when you’re a mama–both from your kids themselves, within your family unit, and with yourself.

 

That’s the deal.  It’s like a roller coaster of life we get to ride on every day. And it’s a gift.

 

But it doesn’t feel like a gift when we’re exhausted. “Over-gived.”  Running on empty.

 

Luckily for us, 2 ancient traditions figured out how to cultivate, circulate, and generate more of this life force energy for us. Though thousands of years of observation, practice, and working with the energy.  

 

Phew!  And you thought you’d have to figure it out yourself.

 

Nope, we have the gift of this right here and ready for us to tap into.  It is through the tapping in with our sexual energy that we generate this life force energy. It is one and the same.

 

I’ve been immersed in the study and self-practice of these practices for the past year and a half as a personal quest to feel more vital, turned on and to enjoy my life more fully.

 

At the turn of the year, 2018, I’ll be leading a group of women who would like to cultivate a deeper connection with their sexuality, bodies, and their sexual (life force) energy in an experiential program. This is for ALL women, not just mothers.  

 

Nope, you can’t just watch some videos and binge watch it to bring it in.  You’re going to have to dive in.  But, here’s the thing, we do better when we have accountability.  We are more successful at achieving our dreams when we have people right there doing it with us, having the same struggles, and cheering each other on.

 

It’s something that’s just brimming inside me to lead, and I will be sharing more details over the coming weeks.

 

I can’t wait for you to experience it with me!!

 

With love,

 

P.S. If you haven’t yet joined the FB group, Nourish Your Sexy, come over and play...currently over 100 women are checking in and sharing. I’d love to have you there! Click to request to join here https://www.facebook.com/groups/362567237441253/

 

Saying YES to your Sexuality!

Saying YES to your Sexuality!

In today’s unbalanced world, with lots about sexuality (and sexual harassment and shame) coming to the surface in the mainstream, I wanted to present something that speaks to why I say yes to my sexuality.

It’s time for us as women to really dive deep into our sexuality, clear the shame (either from personal experiences, or just the collective), and reclaim our feminine power.

I see the parallel between how we relate to our Earth, and our own sexuality. If we don’t take the time to nurture it in positive ways, we see the effects, and its not positive.

So, I invite you to grab a cuppa tea, a cuppa joe, or a glass of wine and say yes to your sexuality by watching this video! It was my latest Facebook Live.

With love,

 

Getting in Touch with Desire

Getting in Touch with Desire

I was at a point a few years ago where I felt totally out of touch with my true desires and pleasure. I didn’t feel like I had the time and I had lost touch with this part of myself.

Between work, being a mama, and all the responsibilities that held, I didn’t know how to connect with myself the way I used to be able to.  And, this affected everything…my mood, my body, the choices I made, literally everything.

What happened to change it all?  I learned specific practices and techniques to connect deeper to pleasure and to putting my self-care and self-love first. Gasp! First!! How selfish! Or maybe you’re thinking, “that’s great for you, but I can’t do that, there are too many people depending on me, too many things to do!”

If you are thinking either of those 2 things, then I challenge you to read on, because tapping in with pleasure and desire are EXACTLY what you need to manage all those hats, and keep all the balls in the air, with more ease and joy.

Now, my life is filled with tapping in with my body, my desires, my pleasure on a daily basis. And you know what, the world did not stop, the dinner still gets on the table, the kids are still taken care of. In fact, all of this is done with more ease, more attentiveness, more pleasure.  Really.  And sex?  Well, let me just say it is a lot more juicy, spontaneous, and my desire is higher than ever.

 

The first step in getting in touch with desire and pleasure is to identify what your desires are and speaking them out loud, and writing them down.

 

When we desire to tap into pleasure or just to amplify our desire, we first have to identify what would give us pleasure and what help us tap into our desires.

 

Here’s an exercise for you:

Write down what’s in your way right now? What are the obstacles to you tapping in or receiving your desires?

What has kept you cycling in a pattern that isn’t serving you?

 

Is it lack of perceived time for yourself

Not asking for help

Taking on too many responsibilities

Feeling overworked

Distraction—using your precious energy to watch TV programs that help you zone out

 

Now take some deep breaths in and out slowly, and put your hands on your heart;

Ask yourself how you would FEEL, what are the sensations, if these things were not in your way?

Continue breathing until you can feel into your heart (use your “mind’s eye”) and see what your desires are—they are layered underneath all the “stuff”, the “shoulds,”, the “guilt”, and the barriers. Feel into the SENSATIONS that arise.

Continue your breathing as you tap in with these desires, and really feel them move in your body.  Your breathing may change, your sensations may shift.

Imagine light streaming into your heart center, or whatever feels right to you.

 

Take a moment after this exercise to reflect on what came up.

Write these desires/images/wisdom down in the present using “I AM”  For example: I AM….abundant in my life’s work. I AM…full of sexual desire for my partner.  I AM so comfortable with my body.

 

At first these may feel false when you start to write them down. This is resistance.  Go through it. 

Then, be truly brave, and speak these desires outloud.  YES!! OUT LOUD.

This is how you change what resides in your body.

 

Hit reply to this email and let me know if you did the exercise, what did you discover or if you got stuck with any part! I’d love to hear from you!