Now, I’m not a big fan of the word “better”, but in reality we all have aspirations of where we’d like to be with something–and to us, that is “better” than where we are right now.
I’m always striving to be a more patient, understanding, peaceful and resilient mother. Even though I do my best, and have compassion that it’s not an easy task to guide another human being, I do try to improve. As I continuously learn to have compassion and love for myself, I can model this for my children and develop wickedly good “guide” skills.
So, the topic of sexuality and motherhood isn’t commonly strewn across popular magazines. I talk about it in my work as a women’s sexuality coach and previously as a Certified Nurse-Midwife, but in the mainstream, it’s pretty underground.
Often, we put things into priority lists as women, and especially as mothers. Sometimes my post it notes can pile up into a post-it extravaganza with the things I have to remember–permission slips, girl scout meetings, football practices, and shopping list essentials.
Where does our sexuality go on the priority list? Often to the gosh darn bottom! Why? Because we’re not seeing the value in it? Because we’re don’t think we deserve it? Because it’s selfish to think self pleasure and sex is a priority?
I’d like to turn that on its head. Right here. Right now.
We’ve separated our lives into “me doing my life” and “me being sexual.” It’s a highly charged subject, but it doesn’t need to be.
How about if we call sexual energy LIFE FORCE ENERGY?
Would you say you could use a little more life force energy? More vitality? More energy period to feel like a functioning, no, let’s go there—a THRIVING human being?
If you’re like most women, you’re probably answering YES.
I invite you to think on how your life might look differently if you had more of this life force energy pulsing through you on a daily basis.
Could you get more of your to-do list done?
Could you rock your work?
Could you be more patient, more understanding, and have the space to really be there for yourself, your partner, your kids?
I’m not promising it’s going to look peachy every minute of every day. Let’s be real right? It’s like a constant ebb and flow of emotions when you’re a mama–both from your kids themselves, within your family unit, and with yourself.
That’s the deal. It’s like a roller coaster of life we get to ride on every day. And it’s a gift.
But it doesn’t feel like a gift when we’re exhausted. “Over-gived.” Running on empty.
Luckily for us, 2 ancient traditions figured out how to cultivate, circulate, and generate more of this life force energy for us. Though thousands of years of observation, practice, and working with the energy.
Phew! And you thought you’d have to figure it out yourself.
Nope, we have the gift of this right here and ready for us to tap into. It is through the tapping in with our sexual energy that we generate this life force energy. It is one and the same.
I’ve been immersed in the study and self-practice of these practices for the past year and a half as a personal quest to feel more vital, turned on and to enjoy my life more fully.
At the turn of the year, 2018, I’ll be leading a group of women who would like to cultivate a deeper connection with their sexuality, bodies, and their sexual (life force) energy in an experiential program. This is for ALL women, not just mothers.
Nope, you can’t just watch some videos and binge watch it to bring it in. You’re going to have to dive in. But, here’s the thing, we do better when we have accountability. We are more successful at achieving our dreams when we have people right there doing it with us, having the same struggles, and cheering each other on.
It’s something that’s just brimming inside me to lead, and I will be sharing more details over the coming weeks.
I can’t wait for you to experience it with me!!
P.S. If you haven’t yet joined the FB group, Nourish Your Sexy, come over and play...currently over 100 women are checking in and sharing. I’d love to have you there! Click to request to join here https://www.facebook.com/groups/362567237441253/
This topic has gotten a lot of press recently. I want to discuss it from another perspective, that of the why behind it.
Thousands of unnecessary treatments, surgeries are offered and done on women daily. Many women are not given full informed consent, meaning that ALL of the options available to them are not even offered. Women often have to make decisions about their health under distress, and often alone. Many women feel powerless in the decision making process because of the way the options are presented, if at all.
So, the why behind what I do, and how my women’s health practice has evolved over the last decade is about these choices. I chose to become a Western Medical Provider as well as a Holistic Health Care Practitioner.
Why? Because I wanted to reach MORE women…and I have been able to. I tried to fit myself into the system to change it from the inside, but I never felt I could TRULY serve women the way I believed they deserved from within. I made a valiant and long go of it though.
So, I’ve broken out. I need hour long visits to give transformational coaching and teach women about their bodies, and their options. I need to not be accountable to anyone but myself and the woman I am working with.
I choose not to have an administration telling me how long I get with each woman, and how many I need to see in a day. That never felt authentic to me.
Call me old school, call me “inefficient.” I saw a system radically failing women and their health, and I chose to take a circuitous route around it.
We must advocate for our health, our right to the healthcare we choose, and all the options available. We need this for us right now, and we need it for our children.
Just yesterday, I showed this example to my children while in a dental office. It was a first visit to this office for my children’s dental cleanings as we have recently moved.
I was asked at the front desk if I had made my decision about 2 treatments/screenings for them. I had been asked previously on the phone when I made the appointment, so the receptionist was checking if I had made my decision.
I told her that I declined both treatments/screenings for them and went on to complete the new patient paperwork. I knew this was not the norm, and felt it might cause a “stir.”
Ten minutes later, she approached me in the waiting room and said the reasons why the dentist always does them. I told her I was aware of their purpose and still declined. I then told her if he was unwilling to have his assistants clean their teeth because I declined, I would go elsewhere. I spoke in a firm, but professional and calm way. I asked if I could personally speak with the dentist.
So, long story short, they were able to get their teeth cleaned, and the dentist very willingly talked with me personally after their cleanings. I presented my views and told him I respected his and it was actually a really great conversation.
I told my kids in the car afterwards that they must always advocate for their health and what they want. I told them that they always have the right to question anything, and they should.
I gave them another example of when I didn’t advocate for my rights when I was pregnant with my son in one circumstance because I was too afraid at the time because of the circumstance.
I share this today in hopes that you know you’re not alone, that you have every right to question, to ask for a second opinion and to walk out if necessary.
When we honor what feels right for us, we hold on to our power. And if there has been circumstances in the past when you felt you weren’t able to advocate for yourself or feel bad about it now, I invite you to extend compassion to yourself. I have done that multiple times and continue to just say to myself “I did my best in that moment.”
My work now is to help women with their most under-addressed health needs in a holistic way. I combine my 19 years of training and continual studying of the most evidence-based approaches so that I may serve women in the way I believe all women deserve.
With my heart,
Why is trusting ourselves so hard? I’ve been pondering this question of late after some very deep introspection on what was holding me back from truly going after my dreams.
And, it boiled down to not trusting myself and believing fully in myself. In the core, in the depths.
It took some unplugging, silence, meditation, and two friends telling me like it was to see this in its entirety.
Why are we not able to see our full radiance as it really is? Why are we afraid of shining bright and truly owning our power?
I believe much of this has to do with our loss of connection with our ancient birthright and wisdom that lies within our connection with the Earth.
For most of my adult life, I felt like I was searching. Searching for the next certification, the next level of healing, the next thing to make me feel WHOLE. Then, I went through a complete transformation that changed everything.
I KNEW on the primal level that everything I was searching for was false. That only within myself and within my connection to all things, all of Earth, would I ever find the peace I was looking for. The Wholeness my soul ached for. It was in a moment of intense grief after a loss, where I let everything go, because I had nothing else I could do. In was in this moment and the months to follow that the awakening and unfolding came.
It is in our birthright to reclaim this knowledge and many women have already been awakening to the wisdom that is whispering inside them.
That you are not separate from all that is. That you hold all the knowledge, awareness, peace, energy, and awakening inside you, right now.
It is the relaxing into, the RELEASING, that we can fee
l this oneness.
It is in the stillness, the rhythm of Earth herself that we can unfold into the energy that just IS. It is the vital springing forth of all life. Shakti. Life Force Energy. Chi.
We have been told we need to look outside ourselves to feel happy, abundant and peaceful. We have been told that we don’t have the power to heal ourselves. We’ve been told we need surgery, medications, and to “just get over it”.
When you awaken to your radiance, it is about truly believing in yourself, honoring your self, and connecting with your deepest power.
It helps us to make empowered decisions that come from our deepest desires, not from trying to please others or make others feel comfortable.
It is about releasing shame, blocks, and things that hold us from our truest potential.
This is the energy of all creation, and it is available within us and all around us.
We need a new paradigm for understanding our bodies and to not feel like we are being betrayed by them.
We also need practitioners who are skilled at holding space, honoring women, and understanding healing on the deepest levels.
That is one of my gifts.
The big ah-ha was that it was ONLY ME holding myself back.
And by holding myself back, I was holding out on my divine gifts to the world.
To even hold and acknowledge that I had a divine gift–to not just understand deep within, but within every cell of my body, and womb, was huge.
And, I decided once and for all, I was not going to be held back. It took a good 20 years of my life to come to this place.
On the fall equinox, I’m opening up my new offerings for women to heal, reclaim their radiance and activate their inner power.
There are several ways to work with me and I hope one of them resonates.
I look forward to our journey together dear one.